Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Through the Looking Glass

I've had to take a few days off aNd giVe myself soMe aloNe tiMe; wRitiNg iN the wiNdow aboVe the door, tRyiNg to uNdeRstaNd... it's a tRustiNg soRt of motion i'M goiNg tHrougH. CaN't eVeN seem to wRite what I really waNt to. NotHiNg good, bad or iNdiffeReNt, let me tRy to explain...
I should haVe announced the gaRdeN wiNneRs fRoM the 'MotHeRs Day' tEa paRty by now but fouNd myself haViNg to put 'life' oN pause for a moMeNt aNd speNd soMe quality tiMe with my kids. The siMple tHiNgs... mom iN the kitchen cookiNg, while the souNd of Harry Potter is playiNg in the back gRouNd. I needed to eNjoy this, the eVeRyday stuff. EatiNg diNneR at the table together, heAriNg tHeM chat about life... beiNg a faMily together.
So wHeRe does the tRustiNg paRt coMe iN? woNdeR wHy I eVeN wRote that woRd to begiN with...
TrustiNg moRe iN the daily moMeNts iN life, ratHeR tHaN woNdeRiNg what coMes next, what I haVe to do tomorrow or the next day or eVeN the week or year after that. TrustiNg moRe iN the quiet {heRe aNd now moMeNts} of life. TrustiNg iN lettiNg go of the {what if's} iN life.
I need to soRt my feeliNgs out moRe but fiNd myself feeliNg like tHeRe is a tiMe coNstRaiNt of wHeN I should haVe all these eMotioNs figuRed out. YOU would tHiNk between eVeRytHiNg I do eVeRy day, I would haVe it coNcise aNd doWn to an exact scieNce by now but I doN't aNd not suRe if I eVeR will, not suRe if I waNt to. I tHiNk for now, I just waNt to tRust iN tHe {heRe aNd now} moRe... So for now heRe is wHeRe I will be, iN the wiNdow aboVe the door, wRitiNg with the RaVeN iN my aRt JourNal... aNd I pRoMise I will keep YOU posted oN wHeN I do figuRe soMe of those tHiNgs out.
~aRt JourNal of poeticgarden.com